Thursday I finally got some sense knocked into me. I'm so glad I planned ahead on Wed to take off for the rest of the week and get myself right. I dont know what the hell I was thinking either because I was sicker earlier this week than I am today. But at least I'll get the rest I need to be sure I can face everything thats going on in my world. This week has been such a blur to me. I decided to do a polar bear plunge in my bath tub today thinking that maybe the opposite of what I've been doing will make me feel better. I don't know if it was just a psychological phenomena or real cure but after dunking myself in an ice cold tub of water I felt awake and more alive than I had felt in the last 4-5 days. I even got dressed in real clothes instead of sitting around in PJS all day. I think I prematurely thought I was feeling better (even sounding better). NOT don't get me to lying to myself like that anymore. Within a few hours I was back to hacking and coughing up lungs and other body parts I didnt know I had!
I still managed to get a few things done in that brief bit of clarity I had so I guess thats what really counts. But by the time My BP came over for our weekly business meeting my voice was back to croaking again and I was having chills and hot flashes. I didn't even get a chance to watch my favorite TV shows because I took another shot of medicine and was knocked out for the rest of the night.
I did realize that I am a terrible daughter to my mother though. I treat her like shit and she only does and wants the best for me. I need to grow up out of that shit and act like I'm a damn adult. Pardon the non-french foulness but sometimes you have to shake yourself and be like get it together.
No comments:
Post a Comment