Moving on....
I want to be loved and I want to give love and share love till it hurts!
That being said I am afraid that I will NOT be able to live up to MY expectations as 1/2 of a duet. I feel like I focus on what I want and need out of a relationship but may be blinded by that and not see what the needs of the other person would be. Granted this may just be a silly little notion and a trumped up fear of mine because past experience definitely dictates otherwise. BUT, as we get older we get stuck in our ways and I'm afraid I'm stuck in a "I don't give 3 fucks kind of way."
I'm afraid to venture back into the dating scene and more importantly into the closed, committed relationship scene. 1- because I feel like I will screw things up and 2- I don't want to feel stuck in something and not be able to get out. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why is it soooo hard to find someone you can vibe with and although they aren't PERFECT they are perfect for you?!?!? I mean seriously... there are millions of people out there looking to be loved and cared for and to care and love someone else back.
I want a husband and kids one day. Hopefully sooner rather than later but I have this NAGGGGGGGING feeling that I may NEVER find that. I mean hell I'm still changing and redefining who it is that I am and want to be... HOW can I expect someone to fall in love with me if I'm ever changing?
WHY can't we just have cards that match with someone else and when we find them they start to glow or something and then magically we bring them together and poof the world is a bed of roses! DAMNIT where is my MATCH? Am I expecting TOO MUCH or NOT ENOUGH?
I don't want to read a damn self help book either I just want to understand people, what makes us tick and tock. IS that too much to ask? Am I talking crazy?
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