RIP Chuck Brown. 75 years of winding us up!!!
I'm struggling to understand why men seem all interested initially and very interested initially but the moment I come out of my mouth that I am being CELIBATE they are ready to run in the opposite direction. Granted this should tell me that they are only about ONE thing if that is their response but prior to this topic coming up the banter, the interactions are great and one would think that the new found connection may actually be heading somewhere productive.
Alas I find myself abandoned repeatedly. Its like I can't win for trying. When I was sexually active the men were there one minute and gone the next...now that I am doing something different this year I'm still getting more of the same. What is a young woman to do?
I mean I enjoy being single and this past year has been one of self reflection, growth and contentment. BUT there are those days that I want to come home to someone special and have a relaxing evening on the couch, or know that I have plans for a Friday or Saturday night because I have someone IN my life.
I feel so betrayed and emotionally raped when I allow myself to begin to talk to someone in a process of getting to know them and open up to them. I'm not talking just in passing but actually spending some quality time talking on the phone, via skype and on occasion in person. I mean if a man says he's looking for something special and claims he see's that something special in YOU and you believe him doesn't make you a FOOL does it? I try to be as up front about what I am looking for and desiring but maybe I am being too honest or maybe I am going about it the wrong way.
Friends are quick to point out well if you are attracting loosers then thats an indication of something wrong with ME! My response to that is FUCK YOU and your dumb ass opinion! Seriously, thats some crazy bullshit talk. I think I've done enough soul searching, introspective investigating to know my faults and my strengths. Its not like I have a fucking invisible neon sign on my forehead that says LOSERS ONLY PLEASE!
I want love, romance, companionship. I want to share my life with someone else.
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