So, a few months ago I met this guy that I was really head over heals for and he was just play it cool, hell he was frozen. Anyhoo, even after a a real date, a few kisses and a night out dancing, he was still not stepping up to the plate. So I decided to pull back. Every now and again we'd communicate via text but nothing serious and nothing more than a few short hellos.
Fast forward to tonight, he texted me many hours after I'd sent him a text earlier in the day responding all late like usual. Surprisingly though I had just been thinking about him and picking up the phone to call him but I didn't. I let him know what I had been thinking and that put the ball in motion. He asked if he could come over and I was like sure but you have to behave. So pause for 2 hours (yeah he claims to pride himself on being on time and if people aren't they owe him push ups yet its ok to make ME wait around for HIM.)
Anyhoo, I was already in bed catching up on my Raheem DeVaughn Radio show fix, so you KNOW I must have really liked dude to get up and walk down 3 flights of stairs to open the door.
OK enough of the boring details and setting the stage. Flaky dude and I chatted for a bit then he scooted closer to me on the couch and put his arms around me and kissed me. And I'm sitting there thinking...wow this is what I was wondering about and wanting all this time? And out my mouth comes....its gone...the spark is gone. it was there and it fizzled and now its gone. Hey have a good night. And he was like all confused. YES Mr. Arrogant was looking like a dear caught up in some HD high beams.
After he picked up his face he calmly walked to the door and I said goodnight. He looked back one last time like is this really happening? And I had this look on my face like yes negro you are being rejected, yes you are not wanted, and NO you are NOT THA MAN!!!!
Seriously, it was such a liberating feeling to truly know and come to the self realization that what I thought I felt for this man was nothing more than a bad case of boy crazy crushing. Lately I've realized that my ability to decipher if someone is a good choice or not has become more and more clearer. Thats a blessing to say the least! I'm weeding out the prospects and cutting down my roster and hopefully after this journey I will be left with just ONE name on the list.
1 comment:
Nice Michelle. I wish there were times where I didn't let my guard down. I look back and I'm like, "There's the line, don't let your heart cross it...damn! I crossed it!"
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